


Bondsmen

by heyiloveuguy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Study, Family, Gen, Hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 11:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11462415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyiloveuguy/pseuds/heyiloveuguy
Summary: Sirius Black had the manners and behavior of a man sure of his beauty and accustomed to it.Because of this, he looked even more pathetic and miserable, than what he really was — a shred of a pretty boy from twenty-year old photograph.





	Bondsmen

Sirius Black had the manners and behavior of a man sure of his beauty and accustomed to it. 

Because of this, he looked even more pathetic and miserable, than what he really was — a shred of a pretty boy from twenty-year old photograph. His hair got dingy and grey, his eyes got bleary, his once alabaster complexion faded, his teeth were rotten, but his habits were untouched as to ridicule this ruin of a body. 

That was all remained in him from the Blacks and from even himself. 

*

He stopped once by Regulus' room. On the bed there still lay an invitation for dinner from Lestranges, а handful of old Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans was still scattered over the writing desk; Regulus' room was preserved to remember, and his, Sirius' — to obliterate.

*

"What is that?"

Regulus examines the Led Zeppelin vinyl record. The shining record player stands on a bureau, quite inappropriate for their guest room interior.

"This, my man, is the best music of our century", Sirius drawls. Mother looks at him bitterly, but haughtily still, and Sirius is almost ready for the beating: being honest, he had chosen this gift to provoke a scandal.

Later this evening, when he is lying in his room writing a very detailed letter for James with all the Black's House trivia and with a joky plea for a shelter, someone knocks on his door.

"Come in", he says ceremonially and stands up. 

This is Regulus. 

"You started shouting so quickly I hadn't time to thank you. So, thank you."

"You are welcome."

"Though, I guess, I prefer more harmonious melodies."

"M-hm."

They stand against one another in an awkward silence. Regulus looks at his fingernails and, out of the tail of his eye — at the Muggle posters on the walls. Sirius stares at Regulus. 

He always loses his arrogance when left alone with Regulus and doesn't really know what to say: maybe they are too different and strange to each other. Maybe they were too close years ago. A minute feels like an hour. 

"I guess it's time for you to go, man..."

Regulus nod looks very formal, even bow-like. Oh, what a nerd. He touches the doorknob and stills. 

"I know you want to run away," he spurts out suddenly, turning back and looking Sirius in the eye openly and very attentively. "To this Potter. Blacks will not forgive you."

Sirius is ready to shout, to intimidate, to fight, but Regulus turns back again. 

"My door will be always open for you," he says calmly.

And his brother goes away.

*

Of course, Sirius has read his diaries.

They were boring almost to death: the monotone descriptions of receptions in pure-blood houses, some atelier and bookstores addresses, a few lifeless lines about the Lord, and the last note on a separate sheet: I, R.A.B., denounce all my posessions on behalf of my mother."

For two years of this diary there was no mention of Sirius; furthermore, there weren't neither precious secrets on this pages, nor sentiments, nothing even remotely touching. There was nothing left of his brother in this world — no aftersound of his life, no letters — just some old Bertie Bott's Beans.

...And five words, scribbled on a bed foot, comprehensible only for one and only person: Bretagne 71 summer eerie cave.

*

With his shoes full of wet sand, stumbling every ten steps, Sirius was running to the cave, slightly visible alongside the grim cliffs and raging tides. Falling again, he cut his brow with a sharp stone, spreaded out on a cold sand and stayed moveless for a few minutes, while his blood was trickling down his eyes. He looked back at the cliffs and the cave, in the heart of which there probably still lay Regulus' remains. 

Sirius whined long and woeful, with his jaws clenched. Then he silently rose on his feet and apparated back to the Grimmauld Place. 

He has never been on this beach ever again. 

*

When they were but a little boys, Mother loved Sirius more than Reg: he was more beautiful, more charming, smarter and braver. Years later, she had to love Regulus for his obedience. 

*

"What're you doing here?"

Sirius twitched and recoiled from the doxy-eaten purple curtains. 

"The dinner is ready," Harry smiled timidly and shook his head deer-like. An honest, sincere creature. "Will you come?"

"Yeah," Sirius replied, "Let's go."

He turned back to look at the wall behind. Regulus' room did not like strangers, it tried to hide from them, disguised it's door behind the cupboards and curtains. Sirius, though, didn't seek after it very longingly. 

*

What could he possibly be sorry about? A brother he had almost never loved and hadn't known, his twelve Azkaban years, his friends long dead in their graves, Suzy Abbot who he has never invited on a date to Hogsmeade, his godson growing up in a dreary and sorrowful place, or a bottle of fire-whiskey being empty again?

Of course, about whiskey. 

*

...When Sirius got absolutely bored trying to fall asleep, he slipped from his bed very, very quietly, pulled his brand-new magic wand out of the pocket of his even newer cloak and run tiptoe to the little Regulus' room, stepping softly on the polished floor.

Sirius was already pulling the doorknob when suddenly he went still. Reg is surely asleep, and he was a little too heavy on the dessert at this dinner — sure thing, he'll wake up peevish and whiny, so there's no use of him. Sirius decided to stop by in the morning — before he'll go to Hogwarts, the best school of Wizardry and Witchcraft in a whole world!

But of course, there was no time for visits this morning. Regulus was still sleeping, and Sirius hadn't look back at the windows of his bedroom, when he and his father left home and walked under a gentle sunlight to the King's Cross Station.

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to Darth May and Lazarus_64 for editing.  
> Also! I'm not a native speaker, so if you see a mistake — please, do tell! :)


End file.
